and then my god handed me a lighter

It wasn't there when I looked before. I didn't move anything except for my arms. I found my drugs in my new computer bag. Benadryl.

I've needed this bag for well over a year now, if not longer. I finally sucked it up and bought it. Not a bad investment to take better care of my investment.

My investment in my computer. And let me tell you there is nothing worse than being in the middle of editing a cue and have your computer suddenly think it has been disconnected from your audio interface.

So, I turned back to the bed and there it was. The lighter I had been looking for was sitting right there next to me on the bed. My god handed me a lighter. It's a metaphor. I'm pretty sure.

Sometimes in your life you question what you're doing. I do, anyway. I wonder, "Did I take the right path?" Then my god hands me a lighter and I remember a funny turn of phrase a friend of mine has.

One day we were driving around beautiful central New York, discussing travel. She says to me, "The journey is getting there." An accident. She spouts these sort of accidental brilliances. Brilliant in that they are true.

"The journey is [indeed] getting there."
"You [really] don't wanna hafta if you don't hafta."
"And the path [does in fact] go where it leads."

The path goes where it leads, and the journey really is getting there. Where we end up is always the same. For everyone. That's why the quest for immortality is so central to humanity.

Sometimes I ask myself if I have chosen well. And the world hands me this thing that blazes with fire and can all at once be a life force and dangerous. I lost the lighter for a while, but I still managed to collect sources of fire. Now my god has handed me a lighter, and I am thankful to everyone who has provided me with flame.

"The caked up cut, the cleaned up ice.
When shawty come around, I clean up nice.
Dynamic duo, Batman and Robin.
Whoever don't like it, it's that man problem (eh eh eh).
And when I feel like I'm tired (ma ma ma).
Mami be takin' me higher (ah ah ah ah ah).
I'm on fire (but but but).
But shawty we burn it up."

And then my god handed me a lighter.